The Social Media Illusion
By: Rabia Mahmood
We’ve all been there. We check our phones multiple times a day, for a number of reasons. Some are more important than others. Sometimes, we’re blowing off steam from a heated argument. Other times, we’re simply bored.
Picture this: you’ve just gotten into a tiff with a loved one. You decide to log onto Instagram to distract yourself from your current situation, and suddenly, you’re ambushed by pictures of perfect people. A guy buying his girl 100 roses for every day they’ve been together. A super photogenic couple looking absolutely in love, walking along a deserted but scenic beach. A mother doing crafts with her perfectly well-behaved children who follow directions and don’t attempt to eat the craft materials.
And the list goes on and on.
All at once, you feel your inner light dim. Not only are you nothing like the girl showered with flowers, because God knows you have the brownest thumb on the planet. But you feel almost “less than.” All the insecurities you feel as a woman, a wife, a mother, are brought to the forefront. Your relationships don’t seem as meaningful or as valuable. Your self-esteem is screaming to be saved because right now, you’re not feeling too great about yourself.
Welcome to the social media illusion.
It’s only natural to feel a certain way when you see these pictures. When you’re single, it feels like everyone is posting pictures with a significant other. When you’re married, it feels like everyone’s marriage is more strong and vibrant than yours. And when you have kids, it feels like your children just don’t measure up to other insta-famous children.
But what we have to remember is that a person’s social media, whether that’s Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, is controlled by THEM. They get to control their narrative. What we don’t see is each person’s internal struggle. On the flip side of that, we may also feel like someone’s not doing so great because of their “bland” social media presence, but they may be thriving and just aren’t updating regularly on social media.
My point is this: you might not be where you thought you’d be at this age. Maybe you haven’t found your life partner yet. Maybe you found them and lost them. Or maybe you found them, and now you’re navigating uncharted territory. Whatever you’re feeling, just remember that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. It’s good to have goals and aspirations, but don’t let the success (or downfall) of someone else become the ruler that you use to measure yourself with. At the end of the day, what’s written for us will be ours. We have to keep faith and trust that the phase of life we are living is exactly what is meant to be.
Look for inspiration and motivation on social media but the second you start to feel anything but positive, sign off. Give yourself a break. Do something that makes you happy, with people who make you happy. And when you’re in a more positive headspace, go back and unfollow anyone (friend or not) who makes you feel anything but worthy. Take control of your narrative, and allow yourself to enjoy this very moment you’re living.