Money Talks: How to Plan Your Financial Future with Your Future Spouse
A common mistake that can occur when approaching the marriage process, is having a mindset that certain things will “sort themselves out” along the way, with minimal preplanning. And while that may occur in some cases if you’re lucky, that isn’t a practical approach to have - especially when it comes to finances.
When looking at the financial elements of marriage and how you and your future spouse will get on the same page, there is more to consider than just the general “how much money do you make?” and “what kind of lifestyle will we have?”. You also want to ensure you’re covering the following:
1. Do you have any debts? If so, what are they, and how will we tackle them? (hey, things happen. I myself got married with student loan debt - Americans will know the struggle). But it is important your spouse is aware of these prior to marriage, as they impact them as well.
2. Do you have any dependents? This could be in the case of children from former marriages, or if they are currently or in the future plan to financially support anyone else such as parents, siblings, etc. While these are noble pursuits, it is important for a future spouse to know what to expect when it comes to the division of finances, and how it impacts them. There are healthy situations that can be managed, but unfortunately financial abuse is also far too common.
3. How will finances be divided, and will that change depending on circumstances? For instance, some women are happy to work prior to children, but want to stay home during the younger years (or permanently). Additionally, if she contributes early in the marriage, but her husband progresses in his career, will he take over her share, etc.
4. How is your financial literacy? Are you a reckless spender? Trying to work on bad habits? Are you someone who is quite stingy? It is important for us to be honest with ourselves and our future partner, so we can asses if it will be a good match when it comes to finances. If you have vastly different styles when it comes to managing finances, this could cause problems especially early on when in the growing pains phase of the marriage.
5. What are our long-term goals? Lastly, a potential couple should discuss their future plans in regards to finances. Will you have a savings plan? Do you have intentions to buy a home? Are you wanting to take a mortgage or do you follow the opinion it is impermissible? While it may seem silly, again these sorts of things can cause big disagreements down the line, and while you don’t need your partner to be completely aligned with you all the time, it is good to get somewhat on the same page or at least make sure there’s room to work together prior to pursuing marriage with someone.
All that being said, life can throw some serious curveballs sometimes. So whoever you do choose to spend your life with, remind each other always that rizq comes from Allah, and in the hard time He will see you through to the other side. There is no use in comparing your own financial situation to that of others, and trust that Allah will look after you and your family, so long as you do your own due diligence.